Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
