i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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