I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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