yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
