question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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