dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
