youre lurking in front of me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
