Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
