had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
