he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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