sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Four minutes until I can fart!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize