and i looked up. we had an audience...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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