I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
