have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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