i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
