She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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