Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
