she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
