Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Less talking, more tequila
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
