im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
