I will die if light touches me.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
