My nipple is on Facebook.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
