Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
