Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize