I must be too annoying 4 u.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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