I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
