I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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