i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
