been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize