I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
