It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
