so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
