it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
