I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
