going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize