It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
