am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
