Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Come share oat with me in your robe
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
