Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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