I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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