dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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