It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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