So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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