Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
