Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize