Soap is not a condiment
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
