I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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