Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
