the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
