Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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