you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
