just come out here and I will go home with you...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
