Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize