I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
