Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
