I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize