Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
only if we run a train.
done.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
