addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize