hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
