He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
