I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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