I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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