it hurts more in the daytime
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
