I think my fart just growled at me.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
