do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
