hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
