He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
