in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
