I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
