The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
