I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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