whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize