That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
