last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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