i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
