My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
