I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Pooping to opera.
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