Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
